Damn Heroes

It’s true, the last time I was punished was a viewing of The Phantom Menace. The pod racing scene was caught in a loop. I’m just glad Mr. Lucas didn’t know about the lock-pick I keep in my boot for such occasions. For some reason, Winnie the Pooh was forcing me to smear honey on the other movie goers. And I think Piglet was selling bacon popcorn.

Now that I think about it, that might have just been a tequila and taco dream. I take it back, I can’t be punished.

-Mark “Escapee from Alcatraz”

I personally never inhaled…

– Alex “Pass the Duchy”