Something about elves sticking out of piles of coal makes me giggle. Let’s face it though, if naughty kids really did get coal for Christmas, West Virginia would have long since been depleted.

-Mark “Could have started his own coal business”

I gotta say, Santa’s lucky I don’t have access to supervillain tech. That fat man still owes me a BMX.
-Alex “Who do I gotta kill to make it on the Nice list?”